![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif?v=92.2){kind=small}
nervous Okay, I'm new here... so hi:D! Umm yeah.
1. Name: Maria
2. Age:13
3. How long you have been SI: since i was 11
4. What type of SI do you do: cutting, scratching, head banging, burning. But mostly cutting
5. Does anyone know?: mmmhm. All my friends, and all my family, and most kids at school.
6. Are you trying to stop?: No, not really. Kind of. I'm not sure.
7. Do you hide it?: Only when it's new, after a few days i don't
8. What do you use to SI (razors, knives, etc.)?: razors, umm.. my fists, walls, finger nails, and umm insence, and lighters.
9. Are you seeking any help? (like therapy, etc.): yeah, not for cutting though.
10. How often do you SI?: not often. okay, kind of often. Atleast every week, then i pick the scabs:D
11. What made you start SI?: My sister, my pain, confusion.. ect.
12. Have you been diagnosed with any medical conditions, and which one/s if so?: umm... i dont think so. Wait, does depression, psychosis and social anxiety count? *stupid memory!!*
Soo... yeah. Umm... y'all should look at my poetry! Umm, it's on allpoetry, my id there is stone cold beauty and my other one is the razors edge.. if ya dont know how to find em, ask and i'll find hte link. God and I lazy tonight, sorry!! lol.
March 19 2006, 03:20:17 UTC 6 years ago
hello!
hi its me!haha im high! but not on drugs.but oh well.
cyaz
x0x0x0
March 19 2006, 04:54:10 UTC 6 years ago
Re: hello!
hey. what you high on, if its not drugs? Hmm... i wanna be high on sumin. *hugs* xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxxxxxMarch 24 2006, 07:04:42 UTC 6 years ago
Re: hello!
heya its me again.i have a lil seceret me and my bestie smoke dried lavenda! hehe.but i was not high on that.fuck knows what i was highon ae but oh well.
try get on msn soon ish we needa talk.like seriously.
well miss owa convo(s)
la-la
x0x0x
SMILE!
March 20 2006, 02:21:04 UTC 6 years ago
<3 lucy
March 20 2006, 02:46:48 UTC 6 years ago
Deleted comment
March 23 2006, 01:53:12 UTC 6 years ago
Anonymous
March 23 2006, 08:59:34 UTC 6 years ago
Here's where you could even be called enthusiatic about:
"4. What type of SI do you do: cutting, scratching, head banging, burning. But mostly cutting
5. Does anyone know?: mmmhm. All my friends, and all my family, and most kids at school.
9. Are you seeking any help? (like therapy, etc.): yeah, not for cutting though.
10. How often do you SI?: not often. okay, kind of often. Atleast every week, then i pick the scabs:D"
Four is just a list of things you do to cause harm, which is all well and good apparently. Five shows that you really don't care that you do it, which trivializes the entire point of causing harm to yourself, especially if you're not worried about covering it up. Nine also shows that you don't care much about your cutting, as you aren't seeking help for that, and ten trivializes the point even more by the repitition in which you do it. Why do you even do it, it's such a casual thing? Because you've fallen into the habit? Because you've nothing better to do? We all know that claiming that you cut and burn and bruise because of emotional suffering and pain is superficial; plenty of people across the world go through levels of this each day. And not to marginalize them, but it's made into a petty cliche when you stack all your problems against the worlds. So you had a bad day. Big deal; the rest of the world had a worse one. That's no reason to take a mental problem that you've manifested and turn it into a physical one because you can't cope with it.
March 23 2006, 12:52:35 UTC 6 years ago
"4. What type of SI do you do: cutting, scratching, head banging, burning. But mostly cutting
5. Does anyone know?: mmmhm. All my friends, and all my family, and most kids at school.
9. Are you seeking any help? (like therapy, etc.): yeah, not for cutting though.
10. How often do you SI?: not often. okay, kind of often. Atleast every week, then i pick the scabs:D
I believe I answered the questions right. With 4, it asked what kinds of SI I do, it didn't ask if I tohught it was good or not. How can you really know if I care or not? All I said was "mmmhm. All my friends, and all my family, and most kids at school." Also, hmmmm, it's TEXT. You can't really tell any emotion in text.
At the moment, no I'm not seeking professional help with cutting. It's not one of my big problems that needs a lot of work.
You really wanna know why I cut? It's not as bad as the starving kids with no home in Russia or anything, but hey, it's my problems. I'm sure you've had problems that seems like the biggest thing in the world to you.
But, I cut because I hurt quite a bit inside, because I hear voices, because everyone around me holds up a bar that I have to meet but can't, so they put me down... beacause I have horrific memories and thoughts that I can't control, because I hate myself so much that I feel I need to be punished. And that's only the part of the reasons. It really depends on my mood when I cut. If I were to cut now, it would be because of how much I hurt, because of how confused I am, to be sure that I'm still alive.. ect. There's many reasons really.
Yeah, I know. You're prolly thinking, 'jeez. What a pussy. That shit ain't bad.' And you're right. I don't have the worst problems in the world, I never claimed to have the worst. I feel for the people that have shitty lives, that get locked in cages, raped, starved.. w/e every day. But I got my own shit to deal with. If I sat around saying, 'fuck, my problems aren't bad, why the fuck am I complaining?' I'd still feel like shit, but I'd never get help. So, either way you put it, I can either be made out to be a selfish person, or a stupid person... or both. But it doesn't really matter to me at the moment. Peace.